Summer After High School

           Summer after high school when we first met was at the huge Thanksgiving football game. I was a sophomore at the University of New Hampshire and he was a senior at Boston College. I had heard his name before in high school but I never thought I would get involved with him. I had never been so wrong before.

I had met Luke Walker through a close friend of mine, Rose. Luke had been sitting with a bunch of kids I had grown up with and at first I didn’t notice him. Eventually, he came over in my direction and I will never forget the way he introduced himself. He stood straight, his shoulders were broad, and he stuck out his hand in my direction, “I’m Luke Walker,” he said. I’m Ella, Ella Parker,” I somehow managed to say back to him. I was at a loss for words, the way people had described him did him no justice. His eyes were a piercing blue that locked on yours, and it left me breathless. It startled me even more when he sat down next to me and we began to have a conversation, one that involved questions about what we both had planned for the rest of that night.

Together, Luke and I left the game early and decided to head down toward the water. It had been close enough that we could go down there and most likely make it back before the end of the fourth quarter, or so I thought. We ended up staying there till past 11, when I suddenly realized how long we had been gone for. I told him I should probably be going home, I had work early the next morning, but he wouldn’t let me go.

“Don’t go,” he kept saying, and I didn’t leave. I stayed right there with him. I didn’t want to move even though I knew I should. Rose would be wondering where I was, but even knowing that I still had no desire to leave Luke’s warm embrace. That’s when he kissed me, I don’t care how corny it sounds; it was perfect. There was nothing like it. I knew from then on, I wanted him. Not long after I decided it was time to go home, neither of us wanted to say good-bye but we did, and he promised he’d text me later that night. I couldn’t wait.

            I didn’t get a text that night, or the night following or the night after that. I kept wondering what had gone wrong. Had I put my number in correctly? Why didn’t he want to see me as much as I wanted to see him? What did I do wrong? Thoughts like these were what I couldn’t get out of my head. I couldn’t out why I hadn’t heard from him if he sounded as sincere as he did that night.

            The next Friday night, I was sitting at my dining room table with a friend of mine, Molly. My phone was on the other side of the table of and I didn’t feel like getting up to get it when I heard it vibrate and the screen light up. I figured it was just another friend and they could wait, it was only around 9 and I wasn’t planning to go out until later on that night. Eventually, I became thirsty and decided to head to the kitchen for a drink, grabbing my phone along the way. I touched the screen to check the message, and it had been from a number I hadn’t recognized or had saved in my phone. Immediately my heart skipped a beat. It was Luke, it had to be! His message was asking me what I was doing tonight and I couldn’t wait to reply. I told Molly and together we both jumped up and down with excitement, he finally texted. He hadn’t forgotten just like I, along with all my friends who warned me about him, had thought.

            I didn’t end up seeing Luke that night because my mother had called asking me if I could stay home and help her set up for a brunch she was having the next morning. We ended up seeing each other a couple days later though.

            Spending time with him was different than spending time with any other guys. It wasn’t just the fact that it was more exciting, it was more so that I could talk to him about anything. We talked about everything from sports to other people we’ve seen over our high school and college years. We talked about our families, our grades, our majors. We covered it all, and I felt completely comfortable opening up to him. He was different and I didn’t care about the things I had heard of him in high school, he was older now and so was I, I was sure he had changed.

            We ended up talking and hanging out a lot over the next couple of months despite our locations. I mostly traveled down to him on the weekends, although he’d offered to come up to UNH for the day a few times, it never seemed to happen. I figured that there was a major reason, he wouldn’t just blow me off, I knew Luke and I knew he wasn’t like that. I trusted him. Usually I’d end up doing back down to Boston the day after our plans failed.

            In my mind, things with Luke were going great but yet there hadn’t been a label put on us. I kept wondering why, I thought we acted enough like boyfriend and girlfriend that we might as well just have been. Although I thought about this, I wasn’t worried, I knew Luke cared and that’s all that mattered. Or so I thought.

            One night, I went over to Boston College to visit Luke in his dorm since I was home visiting my parents for the weekend. That night we decided to stay in and just spend the entire night with each other. I thought the night had gone good, we ordered Chinese food, watched a couple of movies and I ended up staying the night. I thought everything was perfect, boy was I wrong.

            The next day, I woke up and noticed right about Luke wasn’t beside me. I got up and threw on a pair of Luke’s sweatpants that were lying around on the floor; Luke wasn’t in the room so I figured he had an early morning class. I scribbled a messy note on a piece of scrap paper and left it in the center of his desk to make sure he saw it. I told him that I’d left to go get coffee with a friend and to have him call me later.

He never called.

           

After that night, I never heard from Luke again. I gave him all I had and I didn’t think I had many any mistakes in what I thought was our “undefined relationship.” Maybe I should’ve listened to my friends’ advice when they told me to stay away from Luke Walker, when they told me each and every girl ended up the same way and that even if he made me feel different or special, I wasn’t. Maybe I should have listened because now all I’m left with is a pair of Luke’s dirty sweats, a broken heart, and the thoughts of what could have been.                                                                                                                                                Caitlin